The World Under Our Feet

From Luce Brothers Idea Center Page

Before Carl and I started this process, I had heard the horror stories about couples breaking up (or at least arguing vehemently) over the decisions necessary to building a house. I was not keen about doing anything that might jeopardize the hard-won peace we’ve worked for in our marriage since I have no intention of marrying again – and I would really prefer not to divorce again either. In May, I said to a couple of my colleagues, “There’s NO way we’re building! Are you nuts?”

My vehemence was not based on vague worries. Carl and I are both fairly decisive, and we have clear ideas about how to go about any process. Carl is a Paid Professional in this area, but I’m no slouch when it comes to decision-making either. And while we both tend to get to the same endpoint, regardless of the project, the problem is that we both have very different ideas about what the process looks like along the way. We have had arguments over when and how to deal with old glass milk bottles while trying to organize the basement together. We each try to be silent when the other is driving to and from church even though we each know that our way is much faster and easier. And we have learned that even just putting up a temporary fence together results in tension – and you should have seen what it did to our poor kid who was only trying to please us both at the same time.

So building a house together?  No way.

My, but my words taste better with a bit of ketchup.

In all honesty, making choices with Carl on this project is easier than I thought it would be. His expertise at narrowing down decisions helps tremendously, and neither of us is prone to get so rigid about our selections that we can’t see the other person’s point-of-view or preference with honest eyes. My next several blog entries will focus on some of the choices we have made over the last month.

The kitchen is the room with the most choices, I believe, but we decided to begin with the floors. We reasoned that we weren’t going to be able to decide on cabinets or appliance color (though we have always been heavily leaning toward black) without knowing what the floor in the kitchen would look like. And if we were picking out the kitchen floor, we might as well do the whole house.

We had already decided that we wanted hardwood floors everywhere except the bathroom. The original specs came with carpet in all the bedrooms and the living room, as well as tile in the bathrooms, mudroom, kitchen, and non-dining-room eating area. Initially, we thought we would keep carpet in the bedrooms, but I nixed carpet in the upstairs offices because we both use rolling chairs, and I am regularly raising my desk and pushing my chair out of the way to stand. Carl nixed carpet in the master bedroom because we intend to have several dogs, and any carpet is harder to maintain with dogs. At least area rugs can be replaced fairly easily.

We also didn’t want tile in the kitchen. In our floor plan, the kitchen and eating area are open to the great room, and we’d rather have the same flooring in both. So we decided to do all hardwood flooring, except for tile in the bathrooms and mudroom.

Mike’s flooring vendor is Luce Brothers in Marlborough. We went on Saturday, August 10th, and because it was a weekend, I honestly didn’t expect to make all our selections at that point. I thought we would look, find a few things to mull over, and need to come back another day to finish out the decision making when it wasn’t so busy. Nope. We did it all in a couple of hours, partly because it wasn’t so busy, but also because we handled the decision-making smoothly.

Forest Accents, Hickory, Natural
4" boards (bottom), 3 1/4" boards (top)

We began with the hardwood floors since that was the bigger decision. We asked about brands and quality, and Mr. Luce began by showing us some mid-grade flooring.  We talked about how we expected to have large dogs, so we wanted something durable. During the conversation he suggested samples for us to look at. Carl and I kept gravitating toward oak and hickory.

We decided on hickory for a couple of reasons. First, it’s pretty. It looks like wood and has an irregular grain, suggesting movement and bringing a bit of outside inside. Oak is more subtle and regular, and a bit less interesting. Second, it’s durable. It’s harder than oak, which means it should hold up to critter claws well. As an aside, Mr. Luce said that we’d better tell Mike that our stairs are going to be hickory, since they are heavier.

The brand we saw that we liked was Forest Accents. The “Lincoln Hickory” comes in two shades: Natural and Savannah, which is a darker richer stain. At this point, we’re planning on Natural, though that may change. We both like the lighter wood, though we have been warned that it might be a bit much if we do our kitchen cabinets in the same shade. I think one or the other will have to be stained, just for some contrast.

Even though tile will occupy less of our house, it actually took a bit longer. Part of the problem is sheer number of tile possibilities. There are only so many kinds of wood for flooring, but tile has an amazing range.

The only thing I knew when we started looking is that I didn’t want the standard white square tile that is in my current bathroom. I also wasn’t keen on marble, since I had had that in a bathroom before and found myself regularly slipping. I expected that I would like greens or browns, but I was surprised at how taken I was with the blues. Not bright blue, mind you. More subtle, almost gray blues.

Royalty Ceramic Collection, Paard Nobile,

Carl pretty much let me drive the master bathroom tile selection. He says that because he usually has his glasses off in the bathroom anyway, he can’t really see the room. That may be partially true, but I know he’s also recognizing that I like to soak in the bathtub and that the aesthetics matter more to me. We are both pretty good at recognizing when something matters more to one of us than the other.

Porcelain Tile and More, Anatolia - Portofino, Classico

Carl’s process expertise made the selection much easier. We’d look at a set of flats with tile attached to them. He’d ask me what I liked (and object if he really didn’t like it) and then pull the flat out and set it up. Once we got about three or four flats, he’s push me to choose the ones I liked best and then put back the ones that didn’t make the cut. Thus, we narrowed down the choices pretty quickly, selecting a tile called “Paard Nobile” from the Royalty Ceramic Collection, which I cannot find online (something I will need to follow up on). It has some blue, rust, gray, and brown with a mottled look. And it’s not slick!

We’re planning to use a similar, but less expensive, tile in the other two bathrooms: Anatolia Tile, Portofino Style, Classico color.

Crossville, Ecocycle Americana
Plymouth Rock is in the lower right corner.

We also found a recycled tile for the mudroom that we both really liked. I almost passed it by, mostly because I had looked at soooo many tile flats, but Carl had me go back and look at that one again. This one is from Crossville, called Ecocycle Americana. The color we like is called Plymouth Rock. Since this is going in a high-traffic area, we asked about its durability. Mr. Luce held up the flat, studying it for a moment. “Yeah,” he said, “I’d put this in the mall.” Ok. It’ll last.

At some point in the future, we will see about getting a sample of the flooring material and the cabinet and countertop materials and putting them up against one another – just to be sure. In the meantime, we have pretty much checked this decision off our list.

Time and Timing

We’ve been away for a few weeks. Not literally – just from the blog. That’s what happens when Real Life intrudes. The past few weeks have involved some family crises that needed to take priority, including a trip to Virginia and a trip to the ER (everyone is fine, more or less, now). So blogging about the house hasn’t been at the top of the list.

At the same time, our conceptual work on the house and our decision-making haven’t stopped. Over the same few weeks’ crisis period, we have:

Image by OCAL at Clker.com

• worked through the window issue (at least for the time-being);
• met with a lighting vendor and picked out some of lights and fans;
• decided on the appliances for the kitchen;
• picked out flooring for the entire house;
• begun working with the kitchen designer;
• chosen a siding color;

and perhaps most importantly,

• received a signed offer letter!

So the process is moving apace. It’s only our writing that is trailing behind, and each of these elements will be getting an update soon.

Before those updates, though, I wanted to say a bit more about how copia and kairos are at work in our process – or at least how I’m borrowing (adjusting, altering, even warping) those terms for application to our situation.

Refresher: Copia is the idea that in order to be a successful person of the persuasive persuasion, a rhetor must be familiar with a wide range of arguments, positions, proofs, relevant factual information, etc., regarding the issue at hand. Kairos is the idea that there is a right time and place, an opportune moment, in which to engage with others over such an issue so as to successfully persuade them. Of course, we aren’t persuading anyone of anything, hence my admission that we are rather warping the definitions. However, both serve to explain some of the ways that Carl and I are working our way through this process.

For example, as soon as we got the specs for the house, we began researching. Neither of us knows much about house building – nothing more than a layperson’s knowledge really – but we do know how to find out stuff. We researched the materials, the brands, the models, the measurements, the amounts. We researched the builder, the town, the land, the history. Whenever we found information, we made notes, jotted questions, and recorded changes in the margins. This marginalia became the basis for further notes, questions, changes, and ultimately decisions.

We could have waited. We could have waited until we had a signed offer or even a purchase and sale agreement. We could have waited until the builder told us that he needed a decision. But operating on the principles of copia and kairos, we opted to gather as much information as we could (copia) so that we were ready to deploy it when the time was right (kairos).

Part of our decision to research early and often has been driven by the fact that once classes start on September 4th, my time will be limited. I will not be able to spend three or four hours thinking about cabinets or flooring. However, we’re also motivated by a desire to be able to think through decisions carefully. Neither of us is particularly spontaneous, and we like being thorough and thoughtful. Having to make any significant decisions under pressure gives us both hives; if we had to make as many as it takes to build a house (hundreds!), I think we’d both go into shock.

Of all of the decisions we have made in the last few weeks, the builder hasn’t asked for any of them. Only the windows show up in the offer letter, and that only because we insisted that something be written in now. In general, we have taken it upon ourselves to find out whom we should talk to, what we should find out, and where we should go to gather enough information to make our decisions. This way, when the builder wants the information, we’ll have it.

I suspect that this has made us a bit of a pain during negotiations, particularly over the windows. That was a case where information is only partially available, and so the whole process was confusing. I’ve written about this once, and I’m sure I will again. We landed on an allowance for the windows rather than a firm price, but it’s enough that I’m satisfied. Our builder has a reputation for doing excellent work and being honest. We researched that, too.

Copia and kairos go hand-in-hand because to be ready at the right time, a rhetor – or a home builder – has to have worked through the issues in advance. By the time classes start in a week and a half (yikes!), we’ll be mostly ready – at least on the big decisions. That’s what our research is showing us. You’ll certainly hear about it if we missed anything significant.

Clear Windows

Photo from
Andersen Windows

I teach writing at the college level. Not creative writing (though I have taught creative nonfiction… once). I teach expository writing, persuasive writing, professional writing, technical writing, writing about science, research writing, just about any other kind of writing – and I am in the process of working with every department on our campus to develop writing goals for their majors. So when I say something like “clarity in writing is important,” I have a bit of expertise behind me.

Clarity isn’t a simple concept. Each of us says and does things that we think are perfectly clear but that others find confusing. Clarity involves cognition and perception, as well as the contexts in which texts are both written and read. At a minimum, a writer has to know the audience and the situation if she has any hope of being clear.

Now for the irony: Our windows aren’t clear. We are one or two steps from a Purchase & Sale Agreement, but we’re stuck on the windows (yes, our windows are stuck, too).

Problem 1: Casement vs. Double-Hung
As long as we were picking and everything was equal, I wanted double-hung, tilt-wash windows. Carl did some research and found that Andersen 400-series is worth the investment. So we put that in our addendum of changes to the specs and plans fairly early in the process. In response, we heard about problems with sizing and getting the Andersen brand (to which we said “equivalent is fine”), but we didn’t hear anything about a requirement that the windows be casement until a few days ago. And even then, I thought that the requirement only referred to the windows on either side of the picture window we’re putting in place of the fireplace.

It has taken about four or five email exchanges for Carl and I to understand that the reason Gary, Mike’s realtor, has been saying “casement windows,” instead of double-hung, is because the builder’s plans list casement windows. I am guessing that this means that the plans would have to be significantly altered if double-hungs were used.

If someone had said, “Look at the plan. See that box in the upper right corner. Look at the list there. They almost all say casement. If you want to have double-hung, here is what would have to happen…,” then I would have understood much sooner.

Sometimes it’s helpful to speak in short, simple sentences, even to those of us who work in language all the time. Remember what I said about context? In this context, I am out of my depth. I have research expertise, but I don’t know house-building lingo, my ability to read a floor plan is amateur, and I don’t know what to be on the lookout for. With just a bit more information, I could have understood the problem.

I still don’t know for sure why the windows can’t be changed out, but at this point, I’m ok with casements. I just want windows that work and that I can clean relatively easily (not that I clean windows often, mind you). Carl has decided he’s ok with this, too.

First problem solved.

Problem 2: 400-Series vs. Energy Star
We have been told a number of things about the 400-series windows. The most recent is that Andersen doesn’t make casement windows in the 400 series. Color me very confused, since I can find that information easily online.

As a replacement, we’re told that Andersen has an “Energy Star” line that will be used. The upcharge is $10,000. Now, I’m not only confused, but I’m also bothered.

My understanding is that all Andersen windows are Energy Star efficient. The company has had the certification for more than 10 years. And there is no “Energy Star” line. A-Series. E-series (E for “Eagle”). 400-series. 200-series. 100-series. No “Energy Star” series. Or, more accurately I believe, all Energy Star.

In our face-to-face meeting, Mike said he normally uses the 200-series. The 400-series is one step up, and that’s what we want. If we’re not getting that step up, I’m not interested in paying an upcharge.

I am certain that the problem is confusion, not an attempt to get something past us. Neither Mike nor Gary has struck me as that kind of person at all. So I’m back to clarity.

I sent an email to Gary saying the Problem 1 was solved, but asking for clarification on Problem 2. In that email, I tried to lay out my confusion as clearly as possible. I haven’t heard back yet, so I don’t know whether I succeeded.

If Gary doesn’t understand, though, I will have to try again – because the onus for clarity is mostly on the person trying to communicate.

Wait For It

Our 10-month-old puppy Durin,
waiting for the treats on his paws

Waiting and waiting. And leaping into action. And waiting. Ready, set, LEAP! And wait some more and then leap! The early phases of this project have been a lot of waiting, surrounded by periods of frenzied action.

This is what kairos is all about. Kairos is the opportune moment, the right time and place. But as I’ve been telling students for years, that right moment isn’t right at all if you aren’t ready. So waiting for the perfect time shouldn’t be idle time. Ours hasn’t been.

When I teach persuasion to my students, I also talk about two principles related to kairos: copia and economy. Most American students write in a mode of economy. They tend to produce only the writing they feel they need to include, and they include everything they write. Good writers don’t do this. Instead, they produce volumes – copia – though not all of it may be actually written. From their copiousness, they select the most appropriate points for the moment at hand. Copia is the principle that helps a rhetor – or a house buyer – prepare.

May 18th – Leap!

Our official house hunting began on a Saturday when Mary Rose Wells, our real estate agent, took us to our first set of houses. By the end of a couple of hours together, she had us pegged. We almost certainly weren’t going to find what we wanted in an already-built house. Toward the end of that day, she showed us some land.

May 18th-May 25th – Wait…

See, Mom! I'm waiting!

The week following, Carl and I talked about what we had seen and the idea of building a house.

Initially, both Carl and I were opposed, and we told Mary Rose this at the beginning. The couple I know who had the best experience building a house had the builder go bankrupt before the finishing touches were done. However, their marriage is still intact, which is more than I can say for some other folks. This week was spent in contemplation of what it would mean to build. No immediate gratification. Continuing to live in a house we don’t want to live in anymore. More time to save more down payment money. The possibility of headaches and arguments.

Could Carl and I do this? By the end of the week we had decided…maybe. Enough to say to Mary Rose, let’s keep talking.

May 25th-June 6th - Leap and Leap and Leap!

The next week, she arranged for us to meet the builder, Mike Salvador, and his real estate agent, Gary Smith, at the land. It wasn’t the same land she had originally shown us, but a plot a little closer to the main road. Wooded and rural and quiet. And even better, fairly square. Three acres of the stuff.

Mike walked us around the house site on the land. We went back to Gary’s office and talked for a while. I got a set of specs and house plans to start reviewing. Carl began his due-diligence work on the land itself.

I sought out friends about building and about their houses. What do they like? What do they wish were different? I researched the specs. Is R-30 insulation in the attic enough? No. How good is Certaineed siding? Good enough. I also thought about the things that we wanted that weren’t there: a masonry stove, a generator, adjoining offices.

I wrote up the changes for a meeting with Mary Rose, followed by revisions based on that meeting. Off went the offer letter.

June 7th-June 17th – Wait…

Just a sniff!

They were gathering prices. In the meantime, at our first meeting Gary had said that he could get us a tour of the same model house. Ok, we asked for a date and time. No reply. Mary Rose emailed. No reply to her either at first.

Carl and I weren’t idle, of course; copia was at play. In a variant of what I tell my students, waiting is preparation time. I worked some more on the specs and did some additional research. Carl spent more time in Mendon talking to folks in the government there to make sure that land wouldn’t end up in a subdivision.

June 17th-June 20th – Leap!

On June 17th, we got to see the house. For the most part, we really liked it, and the owner couldn’t say enough good things about Mike. The biggest problem was the second floor. I wasn’t sure it was going to work for adjoining offices. Carl wasn’t either, but we didn’t really talk about it. Instead, we niggled our way into a way to make it work, or so we thought – though we rethought that thinking later. Another set of changes to write up and send off!

June 20th-June 25th – Wait…

See! They are still there!
Can I have them yet?

They were still getting costs. We waited.  I know that it takes time to get contractors to put together quotes and bids. They are busy doing the work they have already been hired to do instead of writing up quotes for work they may not actually end up doing.

However, we were hitting the point where we weren’t sure whether this deal was going to go through. Mike and Gary had had our offer for nearly three weeks, since June 6th, without a response beyond the house visit, and I found myself worrying that this deal wasn’t going to work after all. Carl kept saying that he didn’t mind the wait; we'd just save more money.

One of the hard parts was judging how much effort to expend during this time. Any preparation I did on the interior of the house would still be worthwhile if we had to find another piece of land to build on, but I wasn’t sure whether or not we could use the floor plan I had been working with if we went someplace else. At the risk of sounding like some of my students, I didn’t want to put in work that would go for nothing. Time for some economy.

June 25th-June 29th – Leap!

We got some prices on Tuesday, and we arranged a meeting with Mike and Gary for Wednesday evening. I spent Wednesday marking up the specs and change lists thus far with questions and points for discussion. We met for two hours, during which we got through the whole list. My job was to write up the results, including everyone’s to-do list.

Writing up documents gives the author a certain kind of control. Even in a negotiated process such as this, the document’s author will better know the details and can choose to make clear or obfuscate the issues. For something like this, I wanted clarity. Let’s get it up front. We’ll know the actual purchase price, and Mike will know what to do. The result will be fewer change orders (we hope).

So this time, rather than a list, I wrote a spreadsheet, which Carl reviewed. I included details about the changes, prices where we have them, action items for Buyer and Builder alike. Copia paid off since I had most of the information that I needed at hand when I needed it. Our reply took only a few days to create.

Ok, Durin!
He didn't need to be told twice.

June 29th-July 2nd – Wait…

I worried about the lag times between sending and responses. I worried about the masonry stove, which Mike didn’t want to have anything to do with. I worried that we were becoming too difficult.

In the meantime, I found Houzz. Oh, wow! Just wow! Now my daydreams had full color pictures!

July 2nd – Little Leap!

We received a “changes to change” document, with notes from Gary and Mike about adjustments. Mike can’t leave the trees on the property for us to cut up; he needs to get them out of the way. Moving the stone wall won’t work. All hardwood floors will cost more than carpeting some of them. Nothing controversial, but there were still a lot of blanks about how much things will cost. So, really, we were still waiting.

July 2nd-July 16th – Wait…

Occasional emails from the realtors, as well as some from us, but very little movement on the deal directly.

During this time, Carl and I went out to the land to string some purple twine. We did some more research on propane and flooring. We looked at kitchen counters and cabinets. We finally admitted to each other that the second floor is really a problem, and we came up with a solution. All preparation, copia at work, which we needed. My summer is half over, and once classes resume, my ability to spend hours making decisions will be severely curtailed. So we need to get moving on at least some of the decisions.

Crunch!

July 16th-July 30th – Major Leap!

We got back a counteroffer. Really, it was an offer with my spreadsheet with some more notes and Mike’s initials all over it. We talked with Mary Rose, we made another set of adjustments, we focused our research on a few key areas: solar hot water, propane, windows. We prepared another offer.

This time it took longer to prepare our response. We were ready, but not as ready as I think we could have been. Mary Rose was on vacation for the first part, which contributed to our delay, but only a little. Honestly, I think it had more to do with me feeling like the process was dragging out, and we weren’t getting as much information as I wanted about costs, which was making me nervous. Besides, I really did (read, still do) have some research and fall class prep to do.

All gone!

July 31st – Wait…

But probably not for long. We got an email from Gary that the final version should be in tomorrow. We’re getting ready to move to the Purchase & Sale Agreement!

As soon as we heard that, Carl got on the phone with the lawyer we’re planning to use for the P&S, and then emailed Gary for some updates on outstanding questions. Once we have the P&S, we’ll be applying for a mortgage, as well as (I hope) getting a schedule for the building and the decisions that we’ll need to make.

I suspect that the whole process will look like this. For now, once again, we wait for it.

"Dad threw the TV Out the Window"

He lifted up the television and skipped across the rug
He opened up the window, and then I screamed "Dad, NO!"
But he gave the thing a heave and I watched the TV go...
-- Bill Harley

Yes, but... what kind of window was it? Double-hung traditional, Double-hung tilt-in, Casement, Awning, Gliding, or Stationary?
Double-hung tilt-in.  Because then you can clean the outside pane without actually... having to go outside.  On a ladder.  In the blazing hot sun.  Because let's face it -- there's no point in washing windows in the rain.

Wood, extruded aluminum, vinyl, or some combination thereof?
Whatever has the best cost/performance based on energy efficiency and maintenance costs.

So not vinyl.  Anderson, Pella, or Marvin? 
This is like asking whether to rent a car from Hertz, Avis, or Enterprise.  When I'm renting a car, I want something that will get me to where I want to go.  When I'm picking windows, I want something I can see out of.  I'm not motivated by glitz or status.  So I really don't care.

The builder mentions Anderson in the spec sheet.  Well then.  100 Series, 200 Series, 400 Series, or A Series?
Good grief.

Well, the 100 series is "builder's grade."

Based on my reading, "builder's grade" components and appliances are the low-budget things a developer buys in bulk when they're building an affordable subdivision like the one we used to live next to. Something that will not break down during the home warranty period, but not much longer than that.  In other words, it's the window you end up taking out a loan to get replaced as soon as you get tired of the drafts and condensation.

The 400 series is the standard expensive Anderson Window that you've "come home to" for decades.  Only branded for use in new construction.

The 200 series is a cut-down version of the 400.  I expect they created this line because they were losing market share to people who wanted something cheaper but not something cheap.

The A-Series is for people who fall into the union of two categories: they have more money than sense, and/or they want their windows to make a profound Architectural statement.  It's for people living in a glass house on the beach or a mountaintop who want the outdoors to become part of their interior space.

Seeing how cleverly you imbued emotional content into the semantics of your description... you're going with 400 series.
Why, yes.  Yes, indeed.

Although...  I've seen some pretty darn impressive windows while researching.  We're replacing the fireplace in the Great Room with a picture window facing northeast. It will look over OUR SWAMP, and the realtor said that in the winter when the leaves are gone we're high enough on Miscoe Hill that there is a vista towards Boston.  So we may splurge on an A-series window for this.

So that's a summary of a week's worth of thinking, researching, and then researching some more.  My work here is done.  Time for me to go blow up some tanks...

Wait!  There are still more choices!  Glass coating.  What goes between the two panes.  Cladding options.  Grille styles!  Insect screens!! Hardware fixtures!!!  Oh my God, the decisions never end *sob*.
Calm down.

• We'll get the most expensive glass coating.  It reduces ultraviolet into the house and and reduces infrared transfer both in and out at the expense of a little less visible light.  
• State of the art is no longer a vacuum between panes but argon gas blend that is part of the 400 series premium.  
• The outside cladding (ie the window frame) will depend on what Trish decides for the siding.  Inside cladding is going to get painted by Trish within weeks of our moving in, so whatever is cheapest that will hold a finish.
• I have no interest in a "fake grille" -- a divider you put into the full window to make it look like little tiny window panes being held in by grout.  I view it like wooden paneling on station wagons: a nostalgic aesthetic reminder of a previous generation's functional necessity.
  
  
  
• New state of the art insect screens have a finer mesh, thinner wire, and block less light.  We'll pay extra.  But not for the full width, just half.  I have no issue with having to shove the screen if we want to open the top half of the window for some reason.
  
• Fixtures are totally decorative and thus Trish's area.  We'll probably go with something burnished rather than shiny.

Can I go school some young punks now?

One last question.  Any amusing stories about your window search?

We went to the local Home Depot to look at their floor models.  I wanted to see and touch the 200 series and the 400 series to validate paying an extra 30-50%.  Not to mention letting me condense for Trish all of the findings from the past week.  She agreed that there was a significant quality improvement and would go against our realtor's recommendation and upgrade to the 400 Series.

On the way out I said to the helpful orange-shirted employee, "Thanks for helping me to convince my wife to spend another $25,000!"  Which triggered her usual emotional reaction at the thought of spending this much money on anything...

Lucy's Scream, by Tom Everhart